


please don't go where i can't follow

by cherryade



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Temporary Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Parabatai Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 11:02:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12107313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryade/pseuds/cherryade
Summary: It physically hurts Jace to see him like this, broken, all the jagged pieces laid bare. (Missing scene from 2x20)





	please don't go where i can't follow

"You can't do that to me again."

Jace jerks in surprise. He is just stepping out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. 

Alec is sitting on his bed, right beside the clothes he had laid out for the celebratory party that they were all preparing to attend. His arms are wrapped around his middle, gaze averted to the floor. 

"What are you talking about?" Jace asks even though he knows the answer. There's a wrongness that he can feel lingering in his bones, like he was taken apart and put back all wrong. 

"You know what I'm talking about, Jace," Alec says. It physically hurts Jace to see him like this, broken, all the jagged pieces laid bare. Jace runs a hand through his damp hair and sighs. He steps forward and reaches for his clothes, dropping the towel to puddle at his feet. Alec is still staring at the floor as Jace dresses but the blush that used to pink his cheeks is gone, has been gone since Magnus waltzed in and stole his parabatai's heart. 

"I can't promise that, Alec," Jace says softly as he sits on the bed next to him. Alec sucks in a breath and his grip around himself tightens. It's like he's struggling to hold the pieces of himself together and Jace doesn't know what to do. 

"You promised you'd be careful," Alec says and his voice is flat. “You promised and then you died.” Alec’s voice cracks. He finally looks up and the pain in his eyes makes Jace want to vomit. 

Jace reaches out. He doesn’t know where he is going to place his hands but he knows that he needs to touch his parabatai right now, to ground them both in a world that seems to be spinning apart.

Alec lunges before he can make contact, wrapping his arms around Jace and crushing him close. A soft huff of surprise escapes his lips but he grips back with equal fervour. Alec is shaking and Jace can feel wetness soaking the collar of his shirt where Alec has buried his face.

“I’m sorry,” Jace chokes out. Tears are burning in his eyes and he has never hated himself more than in this moment.

“You can’t do that to me again, Jace, please.” Alec is sobbing, his voice pure desperation. “You can’t. I felt you die. Oh god, I felt you die and I wanted to die too. We’re meant to fight together and die together on the battlefield, side by side. Please, just promise me, Jace. Please don’t go where I can’t follow.”

Jace closes his eyes and bows his head. They’re both shaking now, trembling so hard that the rickety old bed they are sitting on is creaking too. 

“I’m sorry, Alec,” Jace repeats because he doesn’t know what else to say.

They sit on the bed and hold each other, like two drowning men cast adrift.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no claim over the characters or the plot. I do have claim over the feelings that resulted in this madness.


End file.
